The Etiquette of Navigating Threesomes in Amsterdam: Dos and Don’ts

A threesome is a sexual experience involving three consenting adults, and it is becoming more popular. Threesomes aren’t just a fantasy anymore, as they are becoming increasingly popular in Amsterdam – where there’s room for everyone regardless of kink and desires. 

In fact, recent statistics have shown that more people are engaging in threesomes than ever before. According to a study, 10% of women and 18% of men have had a threesome at some point in their lives. This shows that threesomes are not as uncommon as people may think. 

So why do people have threesomes? The reasons vary, but the most common ones include spicing up their sex life, exploring their sexuality, and fulfilling their fantasies. Threesomes can be a way for couples to bond and create a deeper level of intimacy. Some people also engage in threesomes as a way to challenge traditional monogamous relationships. 

Threesomes can be an exciting way to explore one’s sexuality and experience new sensations. It is important to note, however, that threesomes require good communication, trust, and respect.

Here are the do’s and don’ts you want to keep in mind when engaging in such acts:

Do’s

Communicate Openly and Honestly

In threesomes, open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a successful and enjoyable experience. Prior to engaging in any sexual activities, it is crucial to have open discussions with all parties involved. Share your desires, expectations, and boundaries, and encourage others to do the same. Effective communication helps establish trust, ensures that everyone is comfortable, and minimizes misunderstandings.

During the threesome, maintain ongoing communication. Check-in with each other regularly, both verbally and non-verbally, to gauge comfort levels and assess whether any adjustments or modifications are necessary. 

Remember that communication goes beyond verbal cues; pay attention to body language and facial expressions as well. If at any point someone feels/looks uncomfortable or wishes to pause or stop, it is vital to respect their feelings and address them promptly. 

Obtain Consent

Consent is the cornerstone of any sexual encounter, and threesomes are no exception. It is essential to obtain enthusiastic and ongoing consent from all individuals involved. Never assume that previous consent extends to all activities or moments within the encounter. Seek explicit consent for each new activity or progression.

Respect Boundaries

Respecting the boundaries of all individuals involved is crucial in creating a safe and enjoyable threesome experience. Boundaries can vary greatly from person to person, and they should be communicated and acknowledged by all participants. Take the time to discuss and understand each other’s boundaries before engaging in any sexual activities.

Respecting boundaries means actively listening to others, being attentive to verbal and non-verbal cues, and never pushing someone to engage in activities they are uncomfortable with. Boundaries can include physical limits, emotional boundaries, and preferences for specific activities. Always seek permission and respect any restrictions set by any participant. 

Prioritize Safe Sex

Safety should always be a priority when engaging in sexual activities, including threesomes. Practising safe sex protects not only yourself but also your partners. Use condoms, dental dams, and other barrier methods to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Regularly get tested for STIs and encourage your partners to do the same.

In addition to physical safety, emotional safety is equally important. Be mindful of the potential emotional impact of engaging in sexual activities with multiple partners and ensure that everyone involved feels supported and respected. Openly discussing safe sex practices and STI status demonstrates responsibility and care for the well-being of all participants.

Establish A Safe Environment

Creating a safe environment is crucial for a positive threesome experience. The physical space where the encounter occurs should be comfortable, clean, and free from distractions. Consider factors such as privacy, lighting, and sound to set the right mood.

Establish ground rules and agreements that contribute to a safe atmosphere. This may include agreements on confidentiality, privacy, and consent. Ensure that all participants feel safe expressing themselves and expressing their needs and concerns.

Maintain Confidentiality

Respecting the privacy and confidentiality of all participants is paramount in navigating threesomes. What happens within the encounter should stay within the encounter, unless explicitly agreed upon otherwise. Confidentiality fosters trust and reassurance, allowing individuals to feel comfortable exploring their desires without fear of judgment or exposure.

Avoid sharing explicit details or identifiable information about the threesome experience with others, unless you have received explicit consent from all involved. Respect the boundaries of privacy and maintain the trust established among participants. 

Don’ts

Assume Consent

Never assume that someone is automatically consenting to a threesome. Consent must always be actively and explicitly given for each individual activity or progression within the encounter. Always seek clear and enthusiastic consent from all parties involved to ensure a consensual and respectful experience.

Pressure or Coerce Anyone

Consent should always be freely given without any form of pressure or coercion. Never manipulate or pressure anyone into participating in a threesome. Respect individual boundaries and choices, and understand that each person has the right to make decisions about their own sexual experiences. Creating a safe and consensual environment means respecting and honouring the autonomy and agency of all participants.

Ignore Emotional Well-being

Threesomes can evoke a range of emotions in individuals involved. Be attentive to the emotional well-being of all participants and provide support when needed. Check-in with each other throughout the experience.

Disregard Established Boundaries

Boundaries are meant to be respected. Never push or exceed the limits set by any participant. Continuously communicate and obtain consent for any new activities.

Engage in Non-consensual Recording or Sharing

Recording or sharing explicit content without explicit consent is a violation of privacy and trust. Always obtain consent before recording any sexual activities and be mindful of the privacy concerns of all participants.

Judge or Shame Others

In Amsterdam, it is worth noting that the city has a regulated and legal sex industry, including the presence of sex workers. It is important to approach the topic with an open mind and refrain from judging or shaming others based on their choices and preferences.

If someone decides to engage in a threesome or any other consensual sexual activity with sex workers in Amsterdam, it is crucial to maintain a respectful and non-judgmental attitude. 

Recognize that individuals have diverse desires, boundaries, and lifestyles; it is not our place to criticize or stigmatize them for their choices.

Forget Aftercare

After the threesome experience, provide emotional support and engage in aftercare practices. Show care and consideration for the well-being of all participants, ensuring that everyone feels supported and valued.

Final Thoughts

Navigating threesomes in Amsterdam or anywhere else requires a foundation of open communication, enthusiastic consent, respect for boundaries, prioritization of safe sex, a safe environment, confidentiality, and good hygiene. By following these guidelines, you can start a consensual and enjoyable experience that respects the desires, boundaries, and well-being of all involved.

Threesomes can be a thrilling and fulfilling exploration of sexuality, but it’s essential to approach them with care, consideration, and a commitment to consent. Remember that open communication and ongoing consent are paramount throughout the encounter, and respecting boundaries is crucial for maintaining a safe and respectful environment.

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